Fostering Independence
Raising independent children
Independence is not something that your children can gain on their own; they have neither the perspective, experience, nor skills to develop independence separately from you. Rather, it is a gift you give your children that they will cherish and benefit from their entire lives. You can provide your child with several essential ingredients for gaining independence:
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1. Give your children love and respect. |
2. Show confidence in your children's capabilities. |
3. Teach them that they have control over their lives. |
4. Provide guidance and then give them the freedom to make their own decisions. |
Remember the old adage “Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime?”
Children need to feel wanted and helpful, and they need us to learn responsibility. Teaching our children from a young age how to take care of themselves, will enable them to have that ability later on in life, when they will really need these essential skills.
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Ages 2-3
Picking up toys after play
Putting their dirty washing into the laundry basket
Washing their hands
Get dressed with parental supervision
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Age 4-5
Get dressed with minimal parental help
Make their bed with minimal parental help
Using the toilet independently
Clean teeth
Taking cutlery and plate to the sink after food
Help parent sort colours for the laundry
Matching socks after they have been washed |
Age 6-7
Make bed
Get dressed
Wash themselves
Help wash up after dinner or put away dishes from the dishwasher
Choose the day's outfit and get dressed
Water plants
School bags ready for school
Prepare food with parental help |
Ages 8 to 11
Keep bedroom clean and tidy
Be responsible for homework
Be responsible for belongings such as library books and PE kits
Wake up using an alarm clock
Help parents prepare meals
Learn to use the washer and dryer Take the rubbish out for bin collection day |
From the age of 4 upwards you can use a chore chart so that the child can see what needs to be done on a daily basis; this creates another skill of becoming independent
Remember every family is completely unique and these chores are guidelines created by research and parenting groups. You and your family can create your own chores to go along side some of these, to suit your family home and running of your life